Pretending to listen to a partner whilst actually watching TV or checking their phone puts men in the doghouse more times than anything else.
Being unpunctual and arriving home later than promised or not being on time for a date follows a close second in a list of failings that put women in a silent rage, a new report from men’s online retailer Jacamo reveals.
Men say they realise they have done wrong when they are cold shouldered by their partner. Women reckon it can take an average of two hours before the penny drops and two in three women say men are slow to catch on.
A survey of over 2000 men and women carried out for the brand provides a fascinating insight into misunderstandings between the sexes which can lead to unnecessary tension.
It comes on the back of Jacamo recently launching its new campaign, which champions values that make ‘the true measure of a man’ stressing how men should be confident and straight talking while being sensitive and honest.
Not helping with the kids, leaving clothes on the floor, asking where something is without bothering to look, always looking at their phone, insulting their friends or relatives, not remembering likes and dislikes despite being repeatedly told, buying something expensive without consultation and forgetting anniversaries are the top reasons that put a cloud over a relationship.
Men who respond to the silent treatment by asking “What’s up?” or saying an insincere “sorry” will see their time in the doghouse double while failing to recognise their partner is upset at all can lead to a whole day of not speaking. Using the excuse that they were “too busy” to listen properly will see a tiff turn into a major flare up.
The Jacamo report reveals that men who take note of their partner’s concerns escape the doghouse more quickly and are more appreciated than those who try to sit it out.
The silent treatment, in one in four cases lasting over 24 hours, comes ahead of the dreaded “I’m fine” response as the main way eight in ten women let their partner know they have behaved badly.
One in three women express their displeasure by leaving a kiss off a text message or replying with an angry emoji – among 18-24 year olds this figure rises to 90%. Half of women use texting as a way of communicating to avoid speaking directly to their partner when they need to pass on a cross message.
Men say they are in the doghouse for an average 220 hours a year with women being annoyed with them at least twice a week. One in five men claim to never know what has made their other half unhappy and a third of women admit they tell a friend their woes before they resume speaking to their partner.
Most upsets blow over in a couple of hours, though a third of women require their partner to make amends and show some understanding. While a bunch of flowers or small gift is appreciated, women say it is not an automatic ‘get out of jail free card’ and an acknowledgement by men that their behaviour is a problem is more likely to see an end to tension between couples.
Paul Ray from Jacamo said: “Many of us would be honest enough to confess that we deserve our occasional visits to the “doghouse”! Fortunately our research shows in the vast majority of cases such relationship hiccups are quickly solved with honesty, understanding and above all communication.
“The findings also show that men who are quick to recognise when there is a problem and are happy to discuss it, escape the doghouse faster than those who pretend nothing is wrong. It’s about having confidence in your relationship and respect for your partner.
Top ways men find themselves in the doghouse:
1 Not listening
2 Unpunctuality
3 Not sharing responsibility with children
4 Being untidy around the home
5 Asking where something is without looking
6 Ignoring phone and text messages
7 Insulting friends and relatives
8 Not remembering partner’s likes and dislikes
9 Spending money without consultation
10 Forgetting anniversaries and birthdays
Top ways women allow men out of the doghouse:
1 Admitting bad behaviour and trying to change
2 Apologising and meaning it
3 Switch off TV or mobile
4 Cup of tea
5 Cuddle
Top ways men try to get out of doghouse:
1 Say sorry
2 Cuddle
3 Cup of tea
4 Cook meal
5 Flowers/chocolates
